3 Secrets to Creating a Happy Family

Is your family a happy family? When you come home from a long day at the office, do you look forward to the peace and joy that will greet you when you walk through your front door? If not, here are 3 secrets that will help you turn your family into the happy family you want it to be.

1. Determine Child Discipline Ahead of Time

Many, many arguments between a husband and wife come because of differences in opinion about how to disciple the children. So you two need to find some time alone and away from the children and agree on how to discipline. Children can sense weakness, and they can sense disagreement. If they know that you and your spouse don’t agree on discipline, they will more than likely play one parent against another. This battle could lead to the ultimate destruction of your marriage.

2. Talk Often

It seems that one of the hardest things to get couples to do is talk about their relationship. I know talking about your relationship requires openness, honesty, and intimacy, but relationship talk is an absolute must. Set some time aside every week or two to just talk about your relationship. Don’t start off talking about the bad aspects – talk about the good aspects first. If you have not talked about your relationship in a while, spend the first couple of weeks talking about the good before you ever mention the bad.

3. Put Your Children Second

In every marriage relationship, the children should come in second to the spouse. If you only focus on making your children happy, then you are neglecting the relationship with your marriage partner. I have seen so many couples stay together “because of the children” and then separate when the children left the home. Why did this happen? Because somewhere along the way, one or both of the spouses placed more importance on making the children happy than making each other happy. You didn’t get married for your children – you got married because you loved your spouse. Don’t let your children get in the way of your love.

Is your marriage struggling? Do you wish your spouse would change but you just don’t know how to change them?

My name is Nath Ewedafe and my experience in building a unique family setup that thrives on radiant love, joy and good healthy lifestyle has been a challenge. However, the experience have never the less been wonderful and interesting. Visit my blog at http://www.healthy-family-life.com

Can Love Marriage achieve more agreed wedding?

This argument has been raised nth number of times and no one has ever been able to win this debate. In India, arranged marriages have always enjoyed an upper hand. Parents think that it is there utmost duty to find the most suitable match for their sons or daughters by looking through matrimonial or other sources. Though perception is changing slowly and lots of youngsters are opting for love marriages, it is still opposed in small towns and cities. The outgoing youth of India today feels that they are mature enough to take such decisions all by themselves. Moreover, they feel that the person, whom they are planning to spend their rest of life with, should be of their own choice. But looking at the number of divorces and separations in urban India, the question of whether love marriages can score over arranged marriages remains unanswered. Education and media have played an important role in popularizing the concept of love marriages in India. Amid popular love stories like Soni Mahiwal, India always had a long tradition of arranged marriages. With the coming of the British and the subsequent introduction of British education system, more Indians got educated. Movies have influenced the masses as well as the classes to great extent. The approach to love and marriage as depicted in the movies has inspired Indian audiences to the extent that now love marriages are not considered as a taboo. Also, education and exposure to the media, have to some extent changed the mindset of the people and now they have realized that they need not be bound by tradition and they can choose their own marital partners. And for this, they don’t have to depend on parents, matchmakers, relatives, astrologers or any other form of matrimony. This change in mindset and opinions gave rise to number of love marriages. Presently, in our country we have arranged as well as love marriages taking place. Talking about love marriages, they provide time for mutual understanding between the couples which is obviously needed for any successful relation. This way they are better adjusted in the marriage when they finally take their wedding vows. In arrange marriages, there is a pressure to conform to parental expectations like producing a male heir, taking part in family rituals and traditions, putting up with sisters-in-laws, contributing to family expenses etc. Lovers have to try hard if their parents don’t agree with the relation. That is why it is said that Love is not an easy way out! Not all love marriages have happy endings. There are times when discord arises even in love marriages. In lot of love marriage cases, after spending a happy time of marriage, the many couples are seen regretting on their decisions. They find it hard to save the marriage and at last try to break. If they them self chosen their partner and had a perfect tuning then why this unhappy end of the relation after marriage? But there are other repercussions as well especially for girls. At times, to adjust mould themselves in a new environment, girls have to take extra efforts and initiatives in order to woo their in-laws. Parents also at times don’t support their children and consider them responsible for their marriage. Perhaps to avoid such a situation, now-a-days many youngsters prefer arranged marriages. People had this notion that arranged marriages used to happen only in the east but this was not always so, arranged marriages were happening even in Victorian Europe. The best and the safest part about the arranged marriage is that parents and the family is happy and they them self arrange the marriage. There are no tears and sacrifices for their permission. Arranged marriage is a safe bet for women as it offers more protection and security to the women. It is difficult to decide which one can score over the other and which one is ideal is a never-ending debate. Be it a love or arranged marriage, marriage is based on empathy, responsibility, commitment, love and concern. It needs a lot of dedication and effort to sustain the relation. To support and live with each other for life-long, it requires patience, perseverance, dedication and obviously love and care. If one is able to sustain this forever, it is definitely and ideal marriage. Love is an important aspect, whether it happens before or after marriage is not important. It should happen and then happiness will follow and that’s the secret behind a successful marriage.

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Building Relationships, Commitment and Love - Starting With I

We continue our series on how to build interpersonal relationships, whether with family, coworkers, friends, or that special someone. Commitment and love are important to all of us; they are worth fighting for; they are worth working for. You also should know that in spite of many promises there is no secret for success, no checklist of things to do, and just as importantly no checklist of things not to do. But we do have suggestions, now continuing with the letter I. We actually have a double series of articles for the letter I. The focus here is on idea, impartial, and indispensable.

I is for idea. Don't be short on ideas. The way I look at things, it's a lot better to scratch your brain and come up with some new ideas than to simply be a yes person (they used to call them yes men.) Of course, some of your ideas won't fly. So don't get all defensive when people call them into question. Don't assume that just because people disagree with your ideas that they are attacking you. Of course you know your colleagues, friends, and family. Some people will attack you, and even end up claiming your ideas for their own. You should keep a careful record of your ideas so you won't be submitting the same ones twice. And learn from your mistakes. That way you can resubmit the new improved version. It may fly the second or the tenth time.

I is for impartial. Don't immediately take sides in an argument. Try to hear both sides before making any decision. And don't decide on the basis that Isabelle is more reliable than Itchy, besides smelling better as well. There is nothing as impartial as flipping a coin. I could really swear that's how some judicial and even family decisions are made. But maybe I'm not impartial.

I is for indispensable. There is no way to secure your future like being indispensable. When I was a computer programmer way back when it was rumored that some people, insecure for their future, would intentionally place "bugs" or mistakes in their programs. They would come in and fix the problem, ideally after other possibly more qualified programmers would throw up their hands in despair at being unable to solve the problem. There are surely other, less controversial ways of becoming indispensable. Ways that could not be construed as sabotage. And I'm not talking about marrying the boss's daughter, son, or both.

Levi Reiss wrote or co-authored ten computer and Internet books. He teaches computers in an Ontario French-language community college. Among his websites are a new English and French (with translations) love and relationships site celebrating all kinds of love at www.loveamourlove.com. His global wine website www.theworldwidewine.com features a weekly column reviewing $10 wines and new sections writing about and tasting organic and kosher win

What Makes Strong and Nurturing Families?

Human beings have the longest dependency on others than any other living creature. We spend our lives in relationships, either toxic or nurturing. If the family of origin was not supportive and loving, we either repeat that pattern or look for other mentors and teachers.

Can you visualize a closed fist as opposed to an open hand? That is the difference between a closed and dysfunctional group and a learning, sharing and supportive one. The closed one is turned inward and harsh in judgment and expectations. The open one is welcoming and willing to help others as well as receive help.

Closed or Open Families

When we look at families, either of birth or deliberate connection, we admire and wish to emulate, there are usually a number of variables present in the makeup. One or more are usually absent from a closed or dysfunctional family organizations.

1. Open communication. The members are free to express opinions and make mistakes without losing love. They talk often and freely express feelings and emotions. They look for new ways to encourage each other and don't just do what has always been done. The family members ask for help, forgiveness and support when it is needed.


2. A sense of "us". A family is made up of individuals with different needs and abilities. Those individuals form a synergy where the sum of the parts is greater than each one alone. The members of the family know that someone "has their back" and will support their endeavors.


3. Boundaries and guidance. Boundaries and rules of society are not to keep others out, but to keep us safe by understanding the limits of acceptable and unacceptable behavior.


4. Mutual respect. Strong families provide a sense of shared history and traditions. The family actively teaches and models morals, ethics and respect for others.


5. Affectionate and loving. Parents and families who only touch by pushing or pulling do not recognize the value of a loving and kind pat on the head, hug or kiss. Words and actions of love and acceptance are experienced daily in strong families and then radiated out to the world.


6. A sense of optimism and hope for the future. Families that are connected are strong in good times and bad. They model positive coping strategies and recognize life lessons in occasional failures.

Can you and your family change, even if negative patterns have been established over a long period of time? The answer is a resounding yes. The more we know, the more we grow. If your family or group would like deeper assistance than is offered in articles and books and yet not as expensive as therapy, please Google the phrase "Discipline Yes Punish No." This can assist you in your journey.

Thank You for Your Important Work

I applaud you for seeking help with improving your relationships. Enhancing the bonds of understanding between individuals is the first step in building better families, neighborhoods, communities, areas, nations and a world of peace and harmony. Isn't that what we all want?

(c) Judy H. Wright aka Auntie Artichoke. Go to http://www.ArtichokePress.com for free eBook on Encouraging Words.

You have permission to reprint this article in your blog, ezine or offline magazine as long as you keep the content and contact information intact. Thank You.

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer, for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.

Artichoke Press is the home site of Judy H. Wright, family relationship coach and author of over 20 books. If your organization would like to schedule Auntie Artichoke, the storytelling trainer,
for a workshop please call 406.549.9813.

If your family is having problems or situations that need more assistance than an article or book, please go to http://www.DisciplineYesPunishNo.com for a program that will transform your family life.

5 Ways to Build Strong & Healthy Relationships in the Family.

Having a family in which there is only love and bonding is the dream of everyone especially the elderly. They want to see all their sons and daughters living in harmony with each other. It is the peace within the family that is more important. Therefore a strong & happy family should be the target of everyone. The families that stay happily together share a very strong bond. Such families have members who are there for each other in all thick and thin are it happiness or tragedy. They share every moment of life together and support each other. They are seen laughing together or may be playing together & even enjoying together. Thus they are there for each other in every situation of life. For them what is more important is trust & love rather than money.

It’s the parents who are the people who lead a family. It depends on the parents entirely what they teach their children. They are the ones who can build strong bonds within the members. Children should be taught from the childhood that one should live in harmony with the other members of the family and respect their elders. Children often learn from the activities of the parents. Thus it is the responsibility of the parents to build a strong relationship and bond among the various family members. They must take the responsibility of shielding these bonds. Given below are certain steps as to how one can build strong relationships:

A) Spending time together is a very good way to build strong and healthy relationships. Apart from building strong bonds one comes to know each other really well. According to a survey it has been found that if one spends a lot of time with the family one may get a strong control over their stress level. Apart from reducing the stress level it provides one with the greatest entertainment and makes one relaxed & happy. As one knows happiness is next to godliness thus it is more important to be happy rather than to earn a lot of money.

B) One should learn to be Expressive: Expression of feelings is it Love & Gratitude is very important. It’s really very essential to express one’s feelings. It opens up a new world for communication & eases one of all tensions and problems in life. This brings a person really close to his family.

C) Quotes for the Family: one must try and learn some Inspirational Quotes about the family. Such activity withdraws one’s consideration from the daily routine work & the hectic business activities & helps one pay attention on one’s family. Such quotations are quoted by some great poets and writers from all over the world. Therefore read such quotes and come close to your family.

D) Eating Meals: Eating meals together with all the members on the same table and at the same time may create an atmosphere which may make possible the communication among all the members

E) One should not compare a family with some other because that may bring even more grudges rather than solving the matter.